Winter

Winter has never been my favorite season. The days are shorter. Darkness prevails. Storms bring their mix of snow and freezing rain. I’ve never been into the sports of the season as I fail to understand the attraction of sliding down a hill in freezing weather or slipping and falling on a frozen pond. Give me a warm  fireplace to drive out the seasonal chill.

This year my feelings about winter have intensified. As I sit inside keeping out of the weather, I have time to think and brood about that day last Spring when our dear thirteen year old granddaughter left us. I hear the advice, “You need to let it go. It’s been over six months. There are other things more beneficial to occupy your time.” But my heart will not let release my pain which is as fresh now as when the accident occurred. Tears come fresh each morning. The Winter chill permeates my inner being.

There is more advice I hear. “Tough it out, Spring is coming. There

are better days ahead. Just keep pressing on.” But Spring only brings memories of the tragic events, for they took place in the early days of that season. While I look forward to the warmer weather and longer days of sunshine, I do not cherish the anniversary of what took place.

And so I take refuge in God’s Word. I have nowhere else to turn. Today I read Isaiah 55:8-9 where God says: For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways…For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Here is where I struggle. I have God’s promises. I know all things work together for good for those who love Him and have received His call to believe in Him. But the ache, the chill in my heart remains. As I ponder these things, I realize the need for transformation of my thoughts. I desire the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2), but how?

Then I hear the voice of Jesus: Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28) and I remember Psalm 16:11. Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

My renewal lies in God. The closer I come to Him the more I see the path that leads to life. When I lay at His feet, He releases my burden of grief and I rest on His promises as I know the joy of His presence.

But my mind asks from my heart of sorrow, “How do I come into the p

resence of God and release my burden?” Again, I find the answer in God’s Word: Psalm 100:4 Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name. The answer is worship. I come to God with a thankful heart, praising Him and blessing His name. As I worship, I draw closer to the One Who loves me and sent His Son for me and love for my God replaces the sorrow in my heart. As I give thanks and praise His Name the winter chill is driven from within me.

Such is the promise found in God’s Word. But while the answer is clear, the process is not easy. My hurt is deep and not until my love for God is deeper will it be removed if ever it can be completely while I dwell on this earth. And so, I pray, Lord renew my heart and my mind. May I remember always Your love for me shown at Calvary. May I worship You giving You the praise, honor, and glory only You deserve. May I trust You fully for what You have done and are doing in my life.